Some of those takes were from one reddit post, so admittedly, some of it colored the post somewhat. Not to say it was all thanks to it. A few of my own takes are 100% from myself and my narrow observations over the years. I will say this however, I'm well aware that women and men aren't too different from each other. In the end, we're still humans and as humans, we do very human things. Just because I lay out two obvious generalizations, doesn't mean every single human can neatly fit into those extremes. I myself may lean towards seeing the world in a slightly different way due to my individual upbringing. I personally find bargain bin romance taking place in our modern world with nothing cool or interesting going on mind-numbing, but plenty of other women eat that shit up like hotcakes. But despite those differences, we can at least agree that media appealing to emotional depth and interpersonal character driven stories are the goat for most women regardless of genre taste. Of course, there's the tomboy whose taste is nearly identical to a man, but those sorts do exist.
But let's examine the men who want a dominant waifu? I've had personal experience with these men before (I'm on a discord server riddled with them), and though I'm still baffled as to why, maybe it could make sense? See, society as a whole has some insane standards for everyone, men and women included. Men are expected to be providers, protectors, builders, and leaders, which is forced on young boys and men till their graves. And though some do fit the criteria of an idealized man society wants, the overwhelming majority aren't as lucky. So you have young men thrust into the world with no purpose or a future because the higher ups feed them lies on being a better man.
So, some men don't wanna play the game called society. They wish to be whisked away into the comfort of their home, playing vidya all day while time passes them by. And what better fetish enables this than being into a dommy mommy who basically lulls you into subservience? Self-reliance? Self-sufficiency? "No need, mommy is here. You don't be fussed my dear, I'll take care of everything and make you my thing by the end of the day."
The prospect of a woman who basically overpowers everything in their lives is tempting, even for the most dominant of men. And in a sense, it's almost primal. If a woman reminds a man of his mother, then she's the most primed mate for marriage. The same could be said for women who have similar fantasies about men who remind them of their fathers. We all have the carnal need to be parented yet society at large expects us to be self-reliant even at a young age.
But here in lies some damning divergences. Some might apply to some, others to most, but something I've noted with most male-aimed femdom is the power dynamics involved. There's always a physical reason the woman dominates the man. She could be a powerful sorceress, an orc barbarian lady, or even an older woman. There has to be a reason a woman is stronger than a man. Rather than exploring the skillsets most women possess, they always implant masculine senses of power in the way that subverts femininity, even if the woman is a garden variety ara ara mommy.
It's why you have men (mostly nerds from what I've seen) lusting over giant women, tomboys, wheyfus, and the like. They display a power imbalance that is taboo yet alluring. Of course I could be overthinking a literal fetish. I sure as hell am not going to elaborate on why something makes me horny. Maybe they just like femdom or dominant waifus because it's hot. I'm personally not a femdom person regardless of who it's for.
But I will say, I can at least stomach gentle, femgaze femdom the most. Half the time, it manifests in ways you'd least expect it. Relations between a mistress and her servant or a princess and her knight. Not some femboy maid shit, like actual segs butler serving is equally fine lady. And lordy, do not get me started with that cute beauty taming the beast shit because she's really nice. Shit's nice as fuck. but uh, anyway, on the subject at hand.
If it's true as you say that people are ultimately nuanced. but why is it that some people go out of their way to think white girls fuck dogs and men are secretly all rapist pedos? Sometimes stereotypes are true, and most normie dudes and ladies are partials towards stuff aimed at their sex. but if reality is so complicated, where are my sane somewhat masculine guys who's cool with girls liking girly things? maybe he not partake (the most he could do is bake some fine ass cookies), but that's aight. The beauty of heterosexual couplings is two different energies playing off each other rather than both are masculine and both are femmine. That might sound regressive, and believe me, i'm not your mom. If you want a butch tomboy wife who wears a dress once a year, more power to you. Maybe it may work out in the end. I mean the world's a huge place and i'm just some woman on the internet spilling some shit takes on a meme forum.